Some commercials are just plain stupid. Like Clearblue pregnancy tests. "1 in 4 women misread a traditional pregnancy test". I am sorry but 1 in 4 women must be complete idiots. It's either a plus or a minus. Plus means yes, you are indeed screwed, and minus means, nope, woohoo go have another drink. Then we have the "natural" male enhancements. Nothing is natural about wiener pills. And all of the men on those commercials are like 172 and look as if the most exciting thing ever was winning bingo this week. Change the channel and you've got the oddly sexual cat food commercials. I can't have cats, (allergic) but if I did I don't think I'd be mixing their food up in a crystal dish and petting them sensually. eHarmony. Why? What makes you think you know me well enough to find my soul mate? No, just no! And what about those hair loss or diet commercials where the before and after picture are defiantly not the same person?
Television once again will make you laugh when you watch the commercials!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
A Post for Sam
Hello Sam,
Yes, I am speaking directly to you. You got sassy today because I haven't posted in a while when indeed I was planning on it. However, in addition to my post tonight I have decided to single you out and write you my thoughts. YES! That mass of strangeness that frightens even me! I am terrified by my own brain. I have no control over it whatsoever. I made a summer playlist on my iTunes. I'm listening to it now and it's on a Gavin DeGraw song called In Love With a Girl. It's not that good to be honest but I like the sound of his voice so whatever. For some reason my iTunes has also decided to start skipping like a CD with a scratch on it. Rocket Power. Good show. I miss it. Catdog. Hey Arnold. Football head. Helga and that guy that always shows up behind her when she's spilling her soul about Arnold and then punches him in the face and breaks his glasses. He must have alot of glasses. Arte. Wheelchair. DANCING QUEEN! Ooh! Gavin DeGraw song just finnished! Now 99 Red Ballons which is kinda sad but there's a verse in German so I'm cool with it. Not sure who it's by. I got it when Hanna and I made a mix CD. We called it Swim Fishy Swim. Not sure why... We are strange. Woods. Pilgrims. Teepi made of heavy branches. Twine twine, never enough twine. The river seemed so much deeper when we were 5. Walking on the ice into neighbor's yards by accident. Sara going through the ice. Hanna F U! You were not stuck in that tree and I ran into a glass door because of that! I slammed it on my hand that day too! You guys suck! Sorry for getting milk in your hair Susan. I do not say milk weird! AHHHH!!!!! Monkey monkey underpants, the end!
There ya go Sam. A post for you and really no other purpose. Enjoy it darling. <3
Yes, I am speaking directly to you. You got sassy today because I haven't posted in a while when indeed I was planning on it. However, in addition to my post tonight I have decided to single you out and write you my thoughts. YES! That mass of strangeness that frightens even me! I am terrified by my own brain. I have no control over it whatsoever. I made a summer playlist on my iTunes. I'm listening to it now and it's on a Gavin DeGraw song called In Love With a Girl. It's not that good to be honest but I like the sound of his voice so whatever. For some reason my iTunes has also decided to start skipping like a CD with a scratch on it. Rocket Power. Good show. I miss it. Catdog. Hey Arnold. Football head. Helga and that guy that always shows up behind her when she's spilling her soul about Arnold and then punches him in the face and breaks his glasses. He must have alot of glasses. Arte. Wheelchair. DANCING QUEEN! Ooh! Gavin DeGraw song just finnished! Now 99 Red Ballons which is kinda sad but there's a verse in German so I'm cool with it. Not sure who it's by. I got it when Hanna and I made a mix CD. We called it Swim Fishy Swim. Not sure why... We are strange. Woods. Pilgrims. Teepi made of heavy branches. Twine twine, never enough twine. The river seemed so much deeper when we were 5. Walking on the ice into neighbor's yards by accident. Sara going through the ice. Hanna F U! You were not stuck in that tree and I ran into a glass door because of that! I slammed it on my hand that day too! You guys suck! Sorry for getting milk in your hair Susan. I do not say milk weird! AHHHH!!!!! Monkey monkey underpants, the end!
There ya go Sam. A post for you and really no other purpose. Enjoy it darling. <3
Give Them Jazz Hands and They Will Come
Hello world, I am a homo-magnet! It's a gift, I know. I do not seek the gays, I swear. They somehow all find there way to me. I don't think I even have a guy friend that is straight. Today, yet another person came out to me. I'm not sure what it is about me that seems inviting to them, but it must be something. I am the shepherd and they are my flock. Don't even try to get them, it's a God-given talent that cannot be taught or learned. It also helps when you have a perfect gaydar. I don't mind it, in fact, I love them all! It just makes finding a boyfriend exceedingly difficult. I mean, how am I supposed to get a guy if people constantly assume I am dating my homos? I AM A SINGLE LADY!!!!!!! Seriously, it's frustrating! All I want is a date now and then, but instead I get guys thinking they can act like a boyfriend because I sometimes seem that way with my bgf's or they don't bother because they think I'm taken. Don't get me wrong, I love me bgf's. I wouldn't give up my time with them for the world! However, get me a boyfriend and my life will be complete.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Irrational Fears
Irrational fears. Yes, we all have them so don't even pretend you don't. For example, I refuse to step on grates or sewer covers on the street because I am afraid of falling in. Or the messed up dreams I have that illustrate my fear of losing my best friends. I can't sleep without holding something (Sorry to my friends if that has been your body...) and if my legs get too hairy it freaks me out. I can't be in my house alone when it's dark at night because I start seeing things and hearing voices. The list could go on, but it just makes me sound nuts.
How do we conquer these fears? Simple, we don't. We learn to live with what we can't control. I will forever be stepping around sewer grates. I may always wake up at 2 in the morning with a sad looking squished stuffed animal and a call to a friend to calm me down. I will constantly shave my legs, even in the winter when nobody cares. I will avoid the dark abyss of loneliness like the plague. What I won't do however, is let it control my life.
I may go out of my way for some things, but I will not cower in fright at an unshaven leg. I will live, learn, and deal, and I'll do it all with the best people by my side.
How do we conquer these fears? Simple, we don't. We learn to live with what we can't control. I will forever be stepping around sewer grates. I may always wake up at 2 in the morning with a sad looking squished stuffed animal and a call to a friend to calm me down. I will constantly shave my legs, even in the winter when nobody cares. I will avoid the dark abyss of loneliness like the plague. What I won't do however, is let it control my life.
I may go out of my way for some things, but I will not cower in fright at an unshaven leg. I will live, learn, and deal, and I'll do it all with the best people by my side.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Stereotypes
Let's just take a minute to talk about stereotypes. First of all, do they benefit anyone? Nope. So why have them in the first place. My absolute "favourite" stereotype has got to be the gay/lezzie one. So pretty much every girl with short hair is now a lesbian. I am guilty of being the kind of person who holds hands with my friends (male or female) anywhere and everywhere. I'm a touchy-feely person, yet I am straight. What a phenomenon! And then of course every guy with a slightly higher voice or not too much muscle. That ain't gay (all the time), that would be genetics my dear friend. Also, not every lesbian will kick your ass and not every gay boy frolics about and won't stand up for himself. LIES. And newsflash, there is a pretty wide spectrum. You can even be bisexual (as in you like both men and women) which I know may shock some, but it does indeed exist! Cut the crap and realize that your sexual orientation only charaterizes your preference in mate, not your body or actions.
Another I just "adore" would be the so called difference between people better off finacialy and the people who have less. So I suppose that if you have money then you're a betch and are not someone I should trust cause money is the only thing that matters to you? How 'bout no. What if they work hard for their money doing something they love with good intentions and a wonderful soul? There are some pretty mean poor people. Suppose someone is a little too fond of the drinkies and as an effect creates a hostile environment. Not saying the money thing has anything to do with alcohol...but I digress...
Lets see...what else can I throw in here. Don't smoke. Don't drink and drive. Go to school. Get off your lazy ass and stop worrying. Smile and let loose. Goodbye and goodnight!
Another I just "adore" would be the so called difference between people better off finacialy and the people who have less. So I suppose that if you have money then you're a betch and are not someone I should trust cause money is the only thing that matters to you? How 'bout no. What if they work hard for their money doing something they love with good intentions and a wonderful soul? There are some pretty mean poor people. Suppose someone is a little too fond of the drinkies and as an effect creates a hostile environment. Not saying the money thing has anything to do with alcohol...but I digress...
Lets see...what else can I throw in here. Don't smoke. Don't drink and drive. Go to school. Get off your lazy ass and stop worrying. Smile and let loose. Goodbye and goodnight!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
This I Believe
I used to believe that I could do everything alone. I didn’t need anyone but me and that was the way I liked it. That was before my entire view on life got turned around, before my beliefs became the exact opposite.
A year and a half ago my father went to the hospital. I remember that day perfectly. It was the day after new years and he had just gotten home from a trip. I made him two eggs scrambled without anything on them. He was talking to the health insurance people on the phone for two hours. He told me it was nothing serious, that it was probably appendicitis. My sister Sara drove him to the hospital. I waited all day at home with no idea what was going on. Nobody knew what was happening. Even the doctors were having trouble figuring out what the problem was.
I was home alone. My mom was at work and she got the messages backwards. He was in the Intensive Care Unit for a long time. They finally found out that he had a serious infection.
I remember my mom asking what I wanted for dinner on my birthday.
“I want dad’s chicken parmesan.”
“I can make chicken parmesan too”
“No, I want dad to make it.”
“Well I might have to do it.”
To me that meant that dad wasn’t going to be around to do it. That he would still be sick, or worse. He was in the hospital for about seven weeks, maybe more. I’m surprised that I never ran out of tears.
People were all around us. They were giving us food and talking to us nonstop. I didn’t want that. I didn’t tell anyone what was happening. Not my teachers or even my best friends. I would go to the hospital and come home to do school projects and piles of homework. I think the reason I did all that is that I didn’t want to seem weak. In trying to be strong, I became the weakest link in the chain of the world.
This is why I now believe that people who need people are the luckiest people in the world. I found this belief in the soothing words of Barbra Streisand. I have my safety net of friends who care immensely about me and I wouldn’t give that up for the world. Every time I have a friend that truly matters, I feel like a piece of my heart belongs to them. If I lose that friend, their piece of my heart breaks off with them. I need them all, and that makes me pretty damn lucky in my opinion. I am lucky, I am strong, and I am loved.
A year and a half ago my father went to the hospital. I remember that day perfectly. It was the day after new years and he had just gotten home from a trip. I made him two eggs scrambled without anything on them. He was talking to the health insurance people on the phone for two hours. He told me it was nothing serious, that it was probably appendicitis. My sister Sara drove him to the hospital. I waited all day at home with no idea what was going on. Nobody knew what was happening. Even the doctors were having trouble figuring out what the problem was.
I was home alone. My mom was at work and she got the messages backwards. He was in the Intensive Care Unit for a long time. They finally found out that he had a serious infection.
I remember my mom asking what I wanted for dinner on my birthday.
“I want dad’s chicken parmesan.”
“I can make chicken parmesan too”
“No, I want dad to make it.”
“Well I might have to do it.”
To me that meant that dad wasn’t going to be around to do it. That he would still be sick, or worse. He was in the hospital for about seven weeks, maybe more. I’m surprised that I never ran out of tears.
People were all around us. They were giving us food and talking to us nonstop. I didn’t want that. I didn’t tell anyone what was happening. Not my teachers or even my best friends. I would go to the hospital and come home to do school projects and piles of homework. I think the reason I did all that is that I didn’t want to seem weak. In trying to be strong, I became the weakest link in the chain of the world.
This is why I now believe that people who need people are the luckiest people in the world. I found this belief in the soothing words of Barbra Streisand. I have my safety net of friends who care immensely about me and I wouldn’t give that up for the world. Every time I have a friend that truly matters, I feel like a piece of my heart belongs to them. If I lose that friend, their piece of my heart breaks off with them. I need them all, and that makes me pretty damn lucky in my opinion. I am lucky, I am strong, and I am loved.
More Best Friends
There is a lovely thing called a "This I Believe" essay that is a requirement for my English class. Instead of stupid, boring, standard 5-paragraph essay, this piece of writing reaches into your heart and tugs at your innermost emotions. I think I shall post it, but that will be separate from this. But, I digress.
I have been thining about my safety-net of friends while writing this. I circulate around guys more I think because I feel protected when I'm in their arms. I know that is right because of the men I find the most comfort around. I want to publicly thank my two best friends.
Michael, I know that you will always see a part of me as a small child, no matter how old I grow to be. I can always count on you to cover my ears when people say bad things and you certainly do snap whenever someone tries to hurt me, even if it may be a joke. I'm going to miss you more than anything around this time next year. <3
Samuel, my own part of God's heart. Can you believe it has almost been a whole year of the best friendship ever? One great, fabulous, snazzeltastic year. I say, "I need you" and there you are. You give the best hugs and there is deffinatly some sort of connection through our brains. You can tell exactly what is going on in my head, always. I try to do the same for you darling. What am I going to do without you? <3
I love both of you more than words can express, and nothing could ever possibly change that. Never forget that.
I have been thining about my safety-net of friends while writing this. I circulate around guys more I think because I feel protected when I'm in their arms. I know that is right because of the men I find the most comfort around. I want to publicly thank my two best friends.
Michael, I know that you will always see a part of me as a small child, no matter how old I grow to be. I can always count on you to cover my ears when people say bad things and you certainly do snap whenever someone tries to hurt me, even if it may be a joke. I'm going to miss you more than anything around this time next year. <3
Samuel, my own part of God's heart. Can you believe it has almost been a whole year of the best friendship ever? One great, fabulous, snazzeltastic year. I say, "I need you" and there you are. You give the best hugs and there is deffinatly some sort of connection through our brains. You can tell exactly what is going on in my head, always. I try to do the same for you darling. What am I going to do without you? <3
I love both of you more than words can express, and nothing could ever possibly change that. Never forget that.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Friendship
Friendship. I have decided, is like the relationship between the shark and the fish that eats crap off the shark's belly. No, not like, "Hey, I'll lick your tummy if you promise not to kill me!" More like, "I'm gonna stick to you and I know you'll keep me safe". The shark is a protector. Sharky will send any other predator away with a bloody tail if they tried to attack fishy. All because in reality, that shark needs the little fishy just as much as little fishy needs big sharky. There is nobody in the entire big blue ocean that little fishy looks up to more than big sharky. Fishy will do all in it can for sharky, no matter what. This analogy officially made more sense in my head...
Biffles for Liffles
<3 SL <3 MP <3 HM <3 MW <3 AH <3 everyone else <3
Biffles for Liffles
<3 SL <3 MP <3 HM <3 MW <3 AH <3 everyone else <3
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