Saturday, June 26, 2010
Give Them Jazz Hands and They Will Come
Hello world, I am a homo-magnet! It's a gift, I know. I do not seek the gays, I swear. They somehow all find there way to me. I don't think I even have a guy friend that is straight. Today, yet another person came out to me. I'm not sure what it is about me that seems inviting to them, but it must be something. I am the shepherd and they are my flock. Don't even try to get them, it's a God-given talent that cannot be taught or learned. It also helps when you have a perfect gaydar. I don't mind it, in fact, I love them all! It just makes finding a boyfriend exceedingly difficult. I mean, how am I supposed to get a guy if people constantly assume I am dating my homos? I AM A SINGLE LADY!!!!!!! Seriously, it's frustrating! All I want is a date now and then, but instead I get guys thinking they can act like a boyfriend because I sometimes seem that way with my bgf's or they don't bother because they think I'm taken. Don't get me wrong, I love me bgf's. I wouldn't give up my time with them for the world! However, get me a boyfriend and my life will be complete.
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You make me giggle. One day, I will find you a boyfriend. And he will be lower than a 6 on the Kinsey scale. And you will get married and have 2 children who will be close in age so they will grow up together but eventually you two will be tired of the city. You will move to the coast of Carolina into a big house within waving distance of you gbfs' house. (they will all live together.) You will make delicious dinners whenever you want. Your husband will be good at cooking but not quite as good as you are, so he won't upstage you but you don't have to cook if you don't want to. Eventually, the coast will bore you and you will return to Broadway to live out the rest of your 150 years of life as a leading lady in every play while making double-platinum albums produced by your gbfs.
ReplyDeleteSound like a plan?
I love you so much
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